Cheap Seats 2020
COVID For All! - 12/02
By Rich Trzupek
Friends, as it appears we are about to embrace socialism anyway, let’s go all in. Let’s do it Bernie style.
As you may recall, the phrase “for all” was sprinkled throughout Bernie’s policy positions like cocaine on Tony Montana’s kitchen table. There was “Medicare for all” and “free tuition for all” and “free neck massages from attractive young people who must not be identified by gender – for all,” etc.
So why COVID for all? Because it turns out that COVID is more than just a pandemic that very occasionally kills somebody who catches it while providing blue state governors with excuses to effectively shut down small businesses by the score, prohibit public assembly and introduce sketchy voting systems. It’s more. It’s so much more.
It turns out COVID is also a cure for heart disease, cancer and respiratory failure. Yes friends it’s true! Those are the “big three” natural killers in the United States and have been for years. For time immemorial, the percentage of Americans the die from heart disease, some form of cancer and respiratory failure has remained more or less unchanged, peaking in the winter and dropping in the summer, but the proportions remain more or less the same.
Then COVID hit and something remarkable happened: The percentage of US Citizens who die from heart disease, cancer and respiratory failure dropped – dramatically. That’s not according to your humble, right-wing nut-job, correspondent. That comes directly from the Centers for Disease Control official records.
A woman by the name of Genevieve Brand, assistant program director of the Applied Economics master’s degree program at Johns Hopkins, put together a webinar entitled “COVID-19 Deaths: A Look at U.S. Data” that highlighted this remarkable trend. This in turn led to an article published in the Johns Hopkins Newsletter, a student-run publication.
Student journalist Yanni Gu summed up one of Brand’s key findings:
Surprisingly, the deaths of older people stayed the same before and after COVID-19. Since COVID-19 mainly affects the elderly, experts expected an increase in the percentage of deaths in older age groups. However, this increase is not seen from the CDC data. In fact, the percentages of deaths among all age groups remain relatively the same.
“The reason we have a higher number of reported COVID-19 deaths among older individuals than younger individuals is simply because every day in the U.S. older individuals die in higher numbers than younger individuals,” Briand said.
It should come as no surprise that shortly after Gu’s article appeared on the interwebs, the thought control police ubiquitous to college life in the United States these days moved quickly to quash it, pulling it from the newsletter’s web-site. It should also come as no surprise that doing so made not the slightest bit of difference. Once something interesting like this pops up on the web, somebody is going to make a copy and somebody did.
At his point, Hopkins officially acknowledges the existence of the story and even reluctantly provides a link to it, though each page is water-marked “Retracted by The Newsletter” lest somebody dare to read it.
They also go to great pains to discredit Brand so that the appropriate level of panic can be maintained. But while they can quibble with certain details in Brands work, the basic point that CDC has been reporting fewer deaths caused by the big three natural killers and more deaths caused by COVID is indisputable. I suppose that makes sense to the same people who believe there is nothing amiss when the number of votes cast in a state exceeds the number of registered voters.
No doubt when the COVID vaccine starts to hit the street, we’ll find deaths by heart disease, cancer and respiratory failure return to normal. This will, of course, lead to more panic as the MSM and their Democrat allies conclude that the “Trump vaccine” cause heart attacks, cancer and destroys lungs.
Makes about as much sense as the rest of the news these days.